[Candelaria And Marquez]

Cafundéu Preview Formations © and Kaleta Online Present CMSC XXVII



CMSC XXVII Preview

Yes, back like a bad smell it’s the Candelaria And Marquez Soccer Championship, now in its twenty-seventh, or depending on how you look at it, third, edition.

And, um…

There’s a fair few new foreigners as per usual, though the three-player quota has remained in place forcing many clubs to focus on the domestic scene. Only a smattering come in from the lower leagues, bar the squads of the promoted trio, with that particular well having run dry for now, and many sides have been swapping some of their lesser lights like nobody’s business. The flood of cash from fans, television, government and foreign sources however has allowed even the lowliest sides to hang on to their best talent. Albrecht FC in particular have been most put out by MN Smith’s and Port of Clotaire’s refusal to let the country’s biggest club talk to Boris Oviedo and Tom Redway respectively, and only the three relegated clubs have been properly raided.

As for the newcomers? When Kura-Pelland’s right-wing government was sworn in months ago many of the more sensationalist Candelariasian papers predicted that the islands would be overrun by Kura-Pellandi migrants. They had a point, though few predicted that the torrent would come in the form of something in the region of fourteen footballers and a couple of managers. Nine other countries are however represented in this season’s intake.

The only other ‘new’ aspect to the league are the stadiums, most of which have been given a shiny new lick of paint, some extra architectural features and in several cases a couple of new stands.

Foreign transfers to Candelaria And Marquez

Kenneth Quinn (Ad’ihan) ----------> to El din Marbles
Karl Matthews (Bostopia) ----------> to KT Hotspur (delayed until after World Cup 39)
Wally Milton (Hopeless SC) ----------> to KT Hotspur
Carlos Avarelli (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Castillo FC (Div 2)
Stephen Hill (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Turks’ Club
John Horner (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to MarquezOW
Clayton Knight (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Gamboa FC
Xavier Le Monde (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Turks’ Club
Pep McGuire (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Caires City (Div 2)
Teddy Ozi-Mayer (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Cathedral City
Bo Phelps (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Caires Sports (season-long loan)
Larry Torrell-Whyte (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to El din Marbles
Manuel Zelzi (Kura-Pelland) ----------> to Castillo FC (Div 2)
Étienne de Roviere (Magnus Valerius) ----------> to Green Island
Ávindu Zulqadr (The Pazhujeb Islands) ----------> to C.A.L (half-ownership with MarquezOW)
Orlando Moore (Scotchpinestan) ----------> to MN Smith
Seth Walker (Scotchpinestan) ----------> to MN Smith
Jamie Watson (Scotchpinestan) ----------> to MN Smith
Djagbor Cvecej (Squornshelous) ----------> to Portuguese
Jack Stafador (Starblaydia) ----------> to MarquezOW
Scott Soldarian (Valanora) ----------> to Albrecht Turkish

Candelariasian players leaving C&M

Manuel Ballesteros (Turks’ Club) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Simone Cammaroto (Green Island) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Micky Jones (MarquezOW) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Alessio Montano (Caires City) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Seb Moon (MarquezOW) ----------> to Kura-Pelland (season-long loan)
Ken Nilsson (Green Island) ----------> to Magnus Valerius
Zachary Pinkowski (El din Marbles) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Leonard Pinto (Castillo FC) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Rex Sandstrom (Castillo FC) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Ethan Schepinov (MarquezOW) ----------> to Kura-Pelland
Ray Winkett (Turks’ Club) ----------> to Kura-Pelland

Foreign players moving between C&M clubs

Samuel Taha (Bettia) ----------> Caires City to A.Turks
Sargento Castelão (Cafundéu) ----------> Abiodun North to Gamboa FC

~ New players in italics, foreigners in bold. Right to left where applicable. Veteran sportswriter Tracker Edwards, new C&M boss and former Albrecht FC manager Lloyd Donnelly and former player and popular TTO pundit Tom McIndoe add their rankings. No elves were harmed in the making of this preview. ~

Marquez-Onwere FC: Primrose – Horner, Douaydari, Kimber, Sosa – Cassumba Domingos, Okeke, Stafador, Siriwong, N. Kjaer (c) – Vélez.
Coach: Andy Woolworth, the former Kura-Pelland national team manager.
Nickname(s): MarquezOW (“mar-keth-ow”), la naranja
Stadium: Estadio Francisco Álvarez, in Onwere (cap. 30,538)
Details: The reigning champions will retain their adventurous 4-1-4-1 and the bulk of their team, but have made some very useful additions in defence with John Horner arriving from Woolworth’s native land and veteran Pete Kimber adding experience.. Arguably the key man however is Jack Stafador, a Starblaydi midfielder barely out of his teens who will be expected to provide the base from which the four men behind Ignacio Vélez can rove forwards.
Good Bench Players: Holding player Joe Beye and striker Caesar Lopo did a fine job when called upon last year, while this should be the season that Erik Kjaer repeats his brother’s success for his adopted club and country.
The Fans Expect: MarquezOW have finally captured the imagination of its university city’s populous, and fans will be hankering for back-to-back titles.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (2), Lloyd Donnelly (3), Tom McIndoe (Ar, thirsty ill gud, banana gud otter Turkeys!)

Albrecht Turkish: Martinez (c) – Dixon, Williams, Laurie, Szczechowicz – Westhead, Soldarian, Stumpf, Kennedy – Maini, Taha.
Coach: Kris Healy, a studious little man who came to Turkish with little experience but could be now on the verge of hero status.
Nickname(s): A.Turks, Turkish, the Millermen, the Kinsmen
Stadium: Millerman Sheppard Stadium, in Albrecht (cap. 40,614)
Details: That they are the best side in the league is taken as read, and yet… are they? The pairing at the back of Steven Williams and Evan Laurie will terrify no-one, while the advanced wing pair of Rueben Kennedy and Ryan Westhead were forced to play out of their skin and far beyond their natural ability last year. Yet who can argue with the threesome of Gary Maini – XXVI’s Player of the Season, new arrival Samuel Taha and the… experienced and versatile Valanoran midfielder Scott Soldarian.
Good Bench Players: Teenage utility man Can Cetin will be called upon regularly, while at 35 Speed Wang can still do a job.
The Fans Expect: After far too many years for C&M’s No. 2 club, the title must return to Turkish.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (1), Lloyd Donnelly (4), Tom McIndoe (Beast sid inner lig. Tick itta rid.)

Albrecht FC: Brindley – Tonnelier, Fu (c), Wojciechowski, St. Louis – B. Edwards, Marshall, Corradini, Ragab – Vanderpent, Cunningham.
Coach: Trevor Organ, a large former club goalkeeper with an eighties moustache.
Nickname(s): Albrecht, the Scorpions, the Deviants
Stadium: Albrecht FC groundshare with Turkish, much to both sides’ irritation.
Details: They play a pretty bog-standard Diamond 4-4-2 and have made few additions, but who really knows what to expect of the Scorpions? Shane Wojciechowski was Defender of the Season a couple of years back, but is the step up to a title-challenging side too great after relegation with Abiodun? David Brindley is hardly the keeper Organ was after, but the big issue is the midfield. Ben Edwards, Jack Marshall, Matteo Corradini and Beck Ragab are all young and home-grown, and may need too much time to make it work.
Good Bench Players: Felix Currey has come in from Castillo FC and will challenge the much older Brindley for the ‘keeper’s jersey. This could be the season that 20-year-old striker Kovac Johnson breaks through, while Edwards’ little brother Ryan may be one to watch.
The Fans Expect: They’re the biggest club in the league, no arguments. The title, as ever.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (3), Lloyd Donnelly (1), Tom McIndoe (Yell one nutha wickeds).

Candelaria Arsenal: Lavender – Pearson, Ytterland, Zulqadr, Whitbread – Reeve (c), Harouni, Beraza, Yalçin – Naylor, Calero.
Coach: Trev George, a quietly-spoken, rotund fellow who has ‘loyal number two’ written all over him. Except, so far, he’s doing wonders.
Nickname(s): C.A.L, the Yellows.
Stadium: Lavange Arena, in Lavange (cap. 18,548)
Details: Ickle, venerable C.A.L from ickle old Lavange have no money and little in the way of hardcore support, but few can argue that they were the story of last season. Playing a more robust variant of the style that saw them promoted, George has had little money to spend but has brought in unpredictable midfielder Hamzah Abdullah Harouni from A.Turks as his headline buy. Highly thought-of Pazhujebi kid Ávindu Zulqadr will be rotated with the defender old enough to be his dad Reilly Palacios, and may even play alongside him if George opts to change the 4-4-2 into a 3-4-3 with Robbie Shannon coming in up front.
Good Bench Players: Robbie Shannon, who could… come in… up front. Apparently. After that yer struggling, but the 17-year-old Ely twins Tom and Kevin could get games in midfield.
The Fans Expect: Some reckon they could challenge once again, but for most avoiding relegation again would be enough.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (13), Lloyd Donnelly (8), Tom McIndoe (Tim’s Rini art furrum. Thelby seef, bat un le joost.)

Green Island Zapata: Petit – de Roviere, Young, Fiore, Desideri – Walker, Zetaback, Head (c), Cerullei – Vidakovic, Vélez.
Coach: Hane Davies, a thrusting young former right-back usually keen waving an arm to encourage his team – bar Ben Head – to push on forwards.
Nickname(s): Green Island, the Zapata-based club, GIZ, the major club of the semi-antonymous Green Island, the Negroes.
Stadium: Marlow Park, in Zapata (cap. 31,616)
Details: Their real title challenge of XXV never really got off the ground last time out, so instead Davies forged his side into the league’s entertainers. No other side averaged two goals a game, and they could be set to do the same again despite the loss of Simone Cammaroto. Rául Vélez returns to C&M after his annus mediocritis in Kura-Pelland to partner Stuart Vidakovic who will have to find his XXV boots again if the GIZ are to challenge. Steven Fiore will hope that Davies can get his career back on track after his move from Turks’ Club, and there’s always the seldom-questioned best-player-in-the-Candelarias-right-now, Roger Zetaback off of Valanora.
Good Bench Players: Teen ‘keeper Roman Perkins has had scouts drooling over him since he was a babe in arms, while experienced striker Robin Young had come in from division two to keep the double-Vs on their toes.
The Fans Expect: A title challenge would be nice, but right now they’re happy enough to enjoy themselves.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (4), Lloyd Donnelly (2), Tom McIndoe (T’parf fini shalizt; buddit dal deep-end son a’ Vid…da…da…ka..da..kka..a.vi..a…va..da…da…)

KT Hotspur: Thorpe – Noble, Revault (c), Johnson, Klein – Adams, Milton, Bagshaw, Walsh – Abellardo, Gallagher.
Coach: Jerry Huntick, a white-haired, white-bearded and generally rather white old fellow, who’s been at the club for more than a decade.
Nickname(s): the Spur.
Stadium: The Valleys, in Rose of Sharon (cap. 22,284)
Details: Hello? Mr Adamczyk? Hi, yes, just wondering about all the cash you promised, I… Hello? Hello? Yes, Spur fans refusal to contemplate leaving their hovel of a ground has been punished by the chairman’s refusal to spend any money, and old Jezza has been forced to make do. They’re likely to be as boring as sin as ever, with the team so reliant on Giuseppe Abellardo – long since discarded by St Samuel but a hero here – to get them out of trouble. Hopeless midfielder Wally Milton might not be, and that’s their only hope really.
Good Bench Players: Mostly kids, and mostly defenders at that. None of ‘em will make it at the highest level, one suspects, but names like Besnik Shehu, Anslem Fisher, Karahan Caner and Agamemnon Knight deserve to be shared with the world.
The Fans Expect: Mid-table respectability while they plot how to murder the Adamczyk clan.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (12), Lloyd Donnelly (10), Tom McIndoe (Thar gud annist prose! Want ear a ward agin sem!)

Port of Clotaire: Cressey – George, Instonenext, Redway, Langstone – Alaoui, Kim, Orlovic, Collins (c) – Gnom, Davis.
Coach: Niko Mason, a small, pleasant little man with the most remarkable sideburns.
Nickname(s): PoC, the Harpies.
Stadium: Harper Street, in Clotaire (cap. 26,600)
Details: Their passionate working-class support is always eager to see them win at all costs, but my; aren’t they dull? The centre-back pairing of Natalie Instonenext and Tom Redway is as good as any in the league, while Nathanial Alaoui and Gary Collins provide the occasional cross. Only the fox-in-the-box skills of Dan Davis and Ryan Gnom stopped the Harpies from struggling last year, and many suspect they’re going to be in trouble this time.
Good Bench Players: With the cost of rebuilding their stadium following the pre-XXV arson attack still a horrible burden, Mason has spent most of his cash on promising youngsters and stalwarts of the lower leagues. Tiny defender Arthur Walker and strikers Eoin Osmer and Jason Federici could be involved – indeed Mason could yet pull a whole new team out of his arse if needs be.
The Fans Expect: Nobody to notice them finishing in the bottom of the top half.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (14), Lloyd Donnelly (15), Tom McIndoe (Zey gor tajuz huffit attapa wee men. A FIFA em, I rilly-dee.)

AFC MN Smith: Oviedo (c) – Fattori, L. Adams, M. Adams, O. Moore – B. Moore, Walker, Fauske, Jones – Johansson, Watson.
Coach: Derek Marshall, a man with ‘Derek’ written on his soul in fountain pen. Only accountants and rappers can be called Derek. Fact.
Nickname(s): MN Smith, the Smudgers, the Smith.
Stadium: City of Bove Stadium, in Bove (cap. 20,568)
Details: The other story of XXVI, I suppose, MN Smith were expected to go straight back down on their first CSMC appearance but Marshall worked miracles to keep them competitive. Their success allowed their utterly negative outlook to be ignored, and it will once again be the performances in the stands that proves most entertaining. The major off-season moves involved their link-up with the Scotchpinestan Soccer Federation, that saw three stars coming to Bove and the club providing their national team training facilities, equipment and other assorted Stuff.
Good Bench Players: Perry Izzillo, Ed Martín, Pedro María Zuluaga. The guys forced out by Orlando, Seth and Jamie W., basically.
The Fans Expect: Well, fans of MN Smith since their creation in 1998 would be happy with avoiding a relegation battle. Fans of All Saints FC, the Bove club forced out of business by the Smith’s creation will boo every goal and long for their relegation and financial collapse.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (7), Lloyd Donnelly (11), Tom McIndoe (Wuh Kent athice kinder fi’ing innas tans! Lessava prep or pun chop, nunna thess nan seaboy staff!)

El din Marbles: Mkhonza – Tokpah (c), Malde, Torrell-Whyte, Quinn – Gardner, Harpas, Panama, Percy – Hone, Madden.
Coach: Carlos Panadero, a very young former left-back best known for his swoon-inducing swarthy appearance.
Nickname(s): Marbles.
Stadium: Little Road Stadium, in El din (cap. 28,520)
Details: After looking relegation certainties for much of the season, Panadero finally turned things around and created one of the most outlandishly attacking sides in the league. For their second-ever year in the CMSC, the Marbles board have loosened their pocked to allow the new manager to bring in his own players. Right-back Kenneth Quinn and brutal centre-half Larry Torrell-Whyte are the headline foreign newcomers to sure up their leaky defence, but no less key are the arrivals of Giles Harpas (rescued from Radyukevich following his excellent XXV) and Carlo Hone (rescued from Turks’ Club following his excellent XXV). They should be some very nice stuff, with their new flying wingers Paulo Gardner and Nicholas Perry and knock it about in midfield… Well, for a good ten minutes at least, before they start lumping it up to big Andy Madden.
Good Bench Players: Cumbersome but effective midfielder Fabien Marks and striker Nataniel O’Leary are among those rather pissed off to find themselves relegated to the bench.
The Fans Expect: A relegation fight but eventual survival. And a happy dressing room, with a bit of luck.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (10), Lloyd Donnelly (9), Tom McIndoe (Ah, iwwer fin will ate listed, bu’ thar prepper midi ocrener.)

Turks’ Club of Khatib: Hill – Jordan, McDonald, Scalzi, Zois – Sellami, Le Monde, Pezzoni (c), Hutton – Bradley, Pi.
Coach: Felipo Curana, aka the other Kura-Pellandi boss.
Nickname(s): Turks’ Club, TurksKT, Turks and anything else on that them bar Turkish.
Stadium: Khatib Together Stadium, in Khatib-Gassett (cap. 27,044)
Details: The debate over who’s C&M’s number three club will rage forever more, but Turks’ Club believe that their smaller stadium is the only thing separating them from that identity. Never ones to miss a good fad, the board have brought in a Kura-Pellandi manager and club captain Giorgio Pezzoni has been joined by two of his countrymen. That they happen to be arguably the league’s best ‘keeper Stephen Hill and the fairy-footed Xavier Le Monde has raised hopes among fans, though Curana’s domestic choices – including CandelariaAM’s Andrew Bradley, Radyukevich’s Matthew Sellami and MarquezOW’s Lucas Scalzi – have hardly set pulses racing.
Good Bench Players: It will be interesting to see if Curana cares for the club’s kids more than his predecessor Williamson. Inventive midfielders William Williams and Mandla Nxele are the stand-outs, though 17-year-old left-footer Ishmael Dolphin deserves a mention for being called Ishmael Dolphin.
The Fans Expect: An initial struggle, ending in safety and genuine hope for XXVIII.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (8), Lloyd Donnelly (6), Tom McIndoe (Door carses an now Ms. Tak.)

Arrigo Portuguese: Sobers – Burgos, Trumble (c), Zebramawi, Ganaha – Carocha, James, Lauren, Belling – Cvecej, Brightmore.
Coach: Jay Zabojnik, progressive young former top-level striker let down by his enormous nose.
Nickname(s): Portuguese, the Hueva
Stadium: Estadio Arrigo Nacional, in Arrigo (cap. 44,123)
Details: Hailing from C&M’s second city, Portuguese are consistent underachievers, but finally look to be developing a squad capable of challenging. Wing-swapping wingers Iain Belling and Cortez Carocha are key, with the Zwangzugian amazon Ursula Lauren watching their back. Joe James has joined from Turks’ Club with everything to prove, and the defence looks solid if far from intimidating. The retirement of Steven Fritz is a big loss, but skinny Kirby Brightmore was among the goals last year and Djabgor Cvecej looks a useful lump, even if he was only signed ‘cos of his name.
Good Bench Players: Giacomo Delgado, Alfie André, Frankie Ramos and the other players who got them up into the top flight are still hanging about, but watch out for twinkle-toesed right-left-central-midfielder-come-striker Jamie González, a teenager with the reputation of the club’s youth system on his shoulders.
The Fans Expect: To be a slightly more restrained version of Green Island, and possible title challengers.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (5), Lloyd Donnelly (6), Tom McIndoe (A bitter brill yunca bitter meh… To parf, thor.)

Candelaria-Allemali FC: Marpleson – Tullier, Mårtensson, Rockey, Mazzeo (c) – Downe, Bornemann, Mengucci, Pipes – Thadope, Smith.
Coach: Giles Walton, a studious, shivering little man hidden behind a vast pair of glasses.
Nickname(s): CandelariaAM, the Shining Sons, the Mariners
Stadium: Hallowfield Park (The Clifton Sausage Company Arena), in Allemali (cap. 29,876)
Details: The fans have never gotten on with the board, and they may well prove correct over the decision to bring in Walton from Marbles. The Jeruselemite pair aside, this is a real collection of mediocrity. Chrissando Rockey arrives from McDonald Sports to partner Boston Mårtensson, but that won’t put the proverbial willies up anyone, while Stephen Smith was let go by KT Hotspur largely on his injury record and looks a far from adequate replacement for Bradley. The midfield at least has some class with Connor Mengucci and Joey Pipes, but pundits remain divided on their future.
Good Bench Players: None? What’s most worrying for their hopes this time is the utter lack of depth. Defender Archie Dubicki, veteran midfielder Archer Cannon and lively young forward Michael Sisson can all do a job, but in what division?
The Fans Expect: The fans probably wouldn’t be that upset with relegation, in all honesty, and a chance to boot out the current set of owners, but Thadope and Downe should provide enough quality.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (9), Lloyd Donnelly (13), Tom McIndoe (Neee-oorrrr… Crrrr…. Bumb! Bag nim, bid sisson.)

Radyukevich Clotaire Sports Club: Kilad – Krstev, Virta, Hurston, Min – Wilson, Eriksson, Osim (c) – Tanzani, Burridge – Stromberg.
Coach: Vincent Peluso, aka Big Vinny, a huge ex-defender known for his endless stream of invective against any social minority you care to name (apart from Italians, obviously). Like a genuinely offensive version of Chris Moyles.
Nickname(s): Radyukevich, the Jukos, the lilacs, the pigmen.
Stadium: Hilltop Stadium, in Clotaire (cap. 31,093)
Details: They were up there with the capital clubs in most peoples’ eyes at the start of XXV, but after a dire XXVI their aims are rather more modest. Peluso’s expected Christmas tree will feature the versatile Carroll Eriksson from Castillo, surplus-to-requirement-but-much-coveted-cross-machine Jackson Tanzani from Albrecht FC and another former Scorpion, Alex Stromberg, up front. With Dean Wilson and Almir Osim also in midfield it won’t be fun to watch, but relegation shouldn’t be an issue this time around.
Good Bench Players: Pablo López and Jamie Rawlinson have remained at the club to challenge Stromberg despite overtures from elsewhere, and 20-year-old defender Warren Crochemore could challenge the Kura-Pellandi Steve Hurston if he gets off to another shocker.
The Fans Expect: Radyukevich supporters are some of the most lively and, frankly, weird in the league; and seem to believe that this gives them the right to expect the world every season. When their not releasing pigs, they’ll be putting Peluso under pressure make no mistake.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (6), Lloyd Donnelly (5), Tom McIndoe (Bunja silf absess pan zees. Cra passover, theel striggle – merk mew erds!)

Caires Sports Club: Halford – Naylor, Bensahnoun, Jansson, Phelps – LeCass, Wiedemann, Freitas (c) – Ashby, Cole, French.
Coach: Macario Ayoví, another larger-than-life type, who recovered from condemning Cathedral City to relegation to bring the Knights up with ease.
Nickname(s): Caires Sports, CSC, the Knights.
Stadium: Kalta Online Dome, in Caires (cap. 38,838)
Details: Likely to change things around a bit and adopt a 4-3-3, the CSC are never-the-less many people’s favourites for relegation despite winning division two. The fear is that the triumvirate of Luke Cole, Archer French and their elder colleague Ashley Ashby simply aren’t top-flight quality, while tricky winger Rockdale LeCass has a great name but little else. That Bo’Selected to come to Caires is a boon, but even young Phelps cannot save a sub-par looking defence.
Good Bench Players: Midfielder Charlie Diack may bring his experience to the first team, but kids like striker Oran Baron and leggy defender Harris Matthews are just along for the ride.
The Fans Expect: Promotion perhaps came to soon for the Knights, despite the size of the club, and they suspect that relegation will be tough to avoid.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (16), Lloyd Donnelly (16), Tom McIndoe (Naah, thill beef ine! Ol’ Makky-A’s gone tea sippriz afra pepple, ah reck own.)

Cathedral City: Yaqué – Ortiz, Hall (c), Silva de Aviz – Shelton, Murch, Robson – Jerez, Taffarel, Folgueira – Ozi-Mayer.
Coach: Charlie Cunningham, the handsome blond uncle of Albrecht FC’s Joe. He’s relegated a couple of clubs in his career, but third time’s the charm.
Nickname(s): Cathedral, Catedral, the Cats.
Stadium: La Neuva Decimotercia, in El din (cap. 27,227)
Details: It’s been described as a 3-3-3-1, and is just as widthless as it sounds. Still, it worked in division two and Teddy Ozi-Meyer is a far more threatening prospect for defenders than Edward Moschopoulos. Young Russell Jobson is an unknown quantity still after his move from KT Hotspur, but waltzing winger Kurt Folgueira could prove the revelation of the CMSC in XXVII.
Good Bench Players: Moschopoulos and second striker Andrew Muambe are veterans of the Cats’ last campaign, while Robinson Zarapov is a talented young goalkeeper who should force Carlos Yaqué out of the side in time.
The Fans Expect: To beat El din Marbles in the first El din derby for years. And then relegation, in all honesty.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (15), Lloyd Donnelly (14), (Eh-he-he, Cumminghan do sit agin!)

Abiodun’s Gamboan Club: Matthews – Armstrong, Young (c), Knight, Price – Ask, Lewis, Ledor, Dobson – Katic, Castelão.
Coach: Andrew Duffy, a nice normal gentlemen with normally proportioned facial features. Clearly not cut out to be a football manager.
Nickname(s): Gamboa FC, Gamboa.
Stadium: Wallpark Road, in Abiodun (cap. 30,092)
Details: Once upon a time, and not so many years ago at that, Gamboa looked to be the only side capable of breaking Albrecht FC’s monopoly with a mixture of their own great resources and an excellent selection of kids. They may have scraped up only by the skin of their teeth and bring a eye-wateringly pedestrian 4-4-2, but they look the best equipped of the newcomers to stay up. Sam Young has returned to his boyhood club from Albrecht FC to partner the Kura-Pellandi (duh) Clayton Knight, while the strike force of veteran returning old boy Rusty Katic and the Cafundulense Sargento Castelão has real promise. Murphy Matthews is still clearly a first division goalkeeper despite his exile from Albrecht, while Gamboa have a teen hero of their own in the form of innovative little Austin Lewis.
Good Bench Players: Big Tony Thorpe essentially got them up single-handedly, but it past it at 33. They have youngsters with names like George, Casper and Hugo however, as well as the man that makes the KT Hotspur ‘There’s only one Nic Noble’ chant rather redundant; centre-half Nick Noble.
The Fans Expect: God knows. They prefer not to talk to, ugh, journalists.
Experts’ ratings: Tracker Edwards (11), Lloyd Donnelly (12), Tom McIndoe (Cannae Stan Dem. Hop the gee strat bic den.)